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整整一年過去了,完整的365天,這一年裡龍捲風過境,充滿無預期,有很多很糟的事,但也有很好的事,我像是被煎魚一樣翻來翻去,是悲還是福？要看你是用什麼觀點看,不管過程是什麼已經沒有討論的意義,我也不想去回想那些惱人的事和衝突,反正目前的結果就是這樣。

這一年我又強壯了不少,了解很多以前不明白的道理,更清楚的認識我自己,承認自己不快樂不是件丟臉的事,丟臉的是你沒有改變的勇氣,有人需要學習,去了解他還無法體會的道理,沒有誰對誰錯,只是我們觀點不同,也不再適合,事情總是有壞的一面也有好的一面,也多虧這一年我找到真正想做的事和方向,我不悲,我只想繼續向前移動,我知道的是我對未來充滿期待。

另一件事,對抗homesick是讓人成長的一種另類方式,因為無論如何你必須打起精神,堅強心智,有趣的是,在東京365天又8個月的日子只是塊小蛋糕,從沒homesick困擾,但第一次來這裡,不到2個月就homesick捱過了8個月,過程就不多談,第二次（這次）來這裡,從第3個月開始捱過12個月,但比以前更可以處理這樣的心境,當然這決定於你喜不喜歡你在的地方。有時離開家,是為了尋找那個讓你想回家的理由,或是,你有可能發覺不想回到相同地方的理由,總之,我一半的腦非常清醒,另一半的腦神智不清,這大概就是現在的狀態。

這個晚上我想要就這樣安靜的看著這個夜景,這是我和這裡道別的方式。為這365天劃下句點,新的篇章正要開始。

"Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zero - Home"

讓我們一起高歌這首歌106次。

Let's just fill it up

This is my friend's helmet. It makes our hands itchy when we see something is white and blank. He started doodling it then I did the final filling as always. I like the alien head.

"Pain is temporary."

Milk+chocolate bar=chocolate milk=smile face 

My love!

"I can lick ten people." If you have watched "Ip man"(葉問) with English subtitles, you would probably get it. I watched it with a extremely ridiculous English subtitles. He said "I can fight 10 people..." or something, but "fight" turned into"lick". I burst out laughing. Oh well, it sounds like a porn film.  

終於天氣晴

終於放晴：作品拍照/打包

事件一：夢見死亡

連下好幾天雨,今天終於放晴,這裡就是這樣,一放晴就晴空萬里到讓你瞎了眼,非常詭異的一天,先是從一個惡夢醒來,我夢見一個好朋友溺死,我試著救他,臉色慘白又吐血,畫面很真實很驚悚,在夢裡我好害怕好悲傷,反覆的說no...no...no...,你相信解夢分析嗎？大家說這反而是對我和那個夢裡死掉的朋友,即將會有好運或財運的意思,這個解釋我喜歡,所以我選擇相信！

事件二：殺貓未遂

打包行李,關起行李箱搬移時,發覺只放半箱的衣服怎麼如此沈重,打開看發現我家的貓躲在裡面“剛好”被我關起來,要是我就把行李箱擱在那2天...嗯...真人真事真驚悚。

事件三：變相的寵物緣

前提,或許上輩子我是被狗咬死的,我對於狗有莫名的恐懼。散步路過公園時,有一隻大狗,很大很大,在我腦裡畫面像巨龍的狗,從遠方12點鐘方向朝我全力衝刺,確認365度只有我一個人,再確認狗的前方沒有讓他追跑的玩具,不管我怎麼假裝沒事的移動,他維持在我的12點鐘方向像我全力奔馳,漫長的20秒,我無法辨認他是愉快還是憤怒,我外表沒事,但是在我的腦海裡已經出現慢動作式驚恐反應,就在我想像他跳躍把我撲倒在我臉上亂咬的瞬間！突然從12點鐘偏成12:05方向！擦腳而過,他停下回頭看了我一眼,往前走,惡作劇狗！他是惡作劇狗！他是有人類靈魂的狗！差點尿褲子了我...

整天都在莫名的驚嚇中,inner me戲份太重,旁邊有兩個gay陶醉在拍照中,像拍婚紗照一樣,可愛。

But this time is different

Another raining day:packing

After a short sleep, I dragged myself to the dentist at 8:00 am. Not very pleasant. I had another escaping dream. I was holding someone's hand and trying to get out of a place where I don't even know again. But this time is different, I saw exactly who the person was. Nobody was hunting us and also there was no fear. We were just trying to find the exit. The scenes keep spinning in my head all the morning. My mouth is still numbing. Same as my brain.

So many emotions these days. I could blame on the weather. It's more painful than I thought. But this time is different. I found strength from the sadness and it's powerful. It makes me want to work harder on the future plans because there is something I really want to see. And I'm eager to prove myself that I can make it. I'm glad I feel the pain and all the emotional things. Negative emotions are usually the source of creation.

I'm leaving here for a while. But this time is different. I don't know how long it will be. Let's just wait and see.

It's done and done

台北氣候：複製作品/S&Y(2)

又是陰雨一整天,終於結束上下上下填色的動作,完成92%!差不多可以高枕無憂的等待前往台灣了,沒想到我真的用0.38的力量把它填滿,有趣的是,原本以為完成後我會覺得不會再這樣折磨自己第二次,但是意外的,我認為,既然我都辦得到這樣了,下次我一定可以完成更難的！或許我真的有某種程度上的自我虐待。

喔～夏天,我的季節,但怎麼還不見真正溫暖的陽光？該死。

In love with a 0.38 uni-ball pen

瘋了才這樣：複製作品/複製作品/還是複製作品

關於之前提到的“人體行動複製機”已經進入了最後的填色步驟,圖有大,很多黑,但只用0.38鋼珠筆完成,真的是瘋了才這樣,馬拉松進入了最後的1/3,為了維持完美間距和線條比例,我的雙眼不停直視差不多要進入太空世界了,想想最後可以得到的效果＋呢喃“我可以！”,憑我堅強的意志力,只要是真心做的事,沒有什麼是辦不到的,再提取一些Yu power,最後衝刺。

三菱鋼珠筆應該可以頒給我一張會員證了吧？

＊＊＊

昨晚又是逃命的夢,似乎不是真的被追殺,但就是不停的奔跑,在一個校園,很多人,我們穿著制服,我牽著一個女孩的手,像忍者一樣一左一右閃躲人群輕快的跑著,忽然間女孩甩開我的手,她說“我不要跟你一起了”,我知道有幾個男孩在找我,我不停的閃著,躲著,跑著,就這樣一整晚。我一直以來都相信夢境是一個顯示潛意識的系統,所以,那個女孩是誰？誰又是那些男孩們？

Miike Snow - Cult Logic

A cold afternoon, it has been raining slightly all day. Rain on sprouting leaves and blossoming flowers. The city looks living but sad suddenly. Somehow I want to play this song over and over. Just want be quiet for a while and record this moment.

人體行動複製機

我親愛的小pro標誌像您問好：準備展覽事項/白日夢

這兩天在企圖把ㄧ個大圖完美的複製到紙上,沒有特殊技巧,完全土法煉鋼---目測法,比例還算滿意,沒想到我竟然辦到了！動筆前猶豫了一陣子,預想這會是場奮戰,我聽見後腦勺傳出的聲音

“嘿！管他的,做就對了！”

對,我做了,然後就對了,“想太多”是行動力的殺手,現在要思考的是,要如何把它安全的護送到台灣,再多練幾次我就可以堪稱“人體行動複製機”,我越來越佩服我的雙手了現在。

Exciting and excited!

No sweat no summer: Getting ready for my little exhibition.

Why do I still feel cold? Are you sure it's summer? 

15 days left to go home. 25 days left for my exhibition. 

My first illustration exhibition! Even though it's just a small one and not even officially in a gallery. But I treat it like my baby. It's a shame that my first time is not giving to Taipei (where I grew up). I promise I will hold an awesome one in Taipei one day, my friends. Even more I would like to hold my exhibitions in other cities around the world. Anyways, I decided to add something to show. One is using as a decoration, another one is...umm...secret! Hee-hee. Wish me luck.

What a surprise!

http://grassrootsmodern.com/2011/05/16/kaya-illustration/

There is an article about me and my illustration on website "Grassroots Moden". Actually I found it accidentally and I don't really know how they found me. Interesting! I like the things on the website. So my style. Aha. I appreciate it. Thank you, Grassroots Moden.

Go! Baby sloth! Go!

Stop motion: Believe In Yourself

You are way more stronger than you think.

You can reach farther than you know.

Get rid of your fear, and arouse the mythical power inside you. Believe in yourself.

Vedio: Kaya H.

Music: Deigitalism - Zdarlight

-----

42 seconds, 279 photos. This is my second attempt at making a stop motion video. I'm planning for the third one already. I want to challenge myself to make a music video which is 4 minutes and 7 seconds. Ugh...I can feel the photoshop allergy symptoms just by thinking about it. But I like doing it, maybe I just need a better camera.

倒數兩週

太陽假的：名片/佈置稿/祕密計畫

依然需要緩慢進食,這樣吃真的很沮喪,左邊的牙齒呢喃,想念盡情咬東西的感覺。

開始倒數兩週,擁抱美麗的寶島,但我真的覺得我挑錯時間了,竟然挑在我最討厭的季節回家,我愛夏天,我是夏天女孩,但是我討厭台灣的夏天,70％的部份很噁心,那舒適的30%大概午候雷陣雨過後和夏夜晚風,還有那30%裡面的27%是大量的冰品,台灣的剉冰真的很厲害,絕對是我十大懷念美食排行榜之上選,雖然我對台灣夏天的抱怨可以寫滿整張A4紙,但是因為長期待在國外也發現,我想念的味道和聲音是關於夏天,濕濕的空氣,濕濕的土壤,雨聲,雷聲,電風扇的聲音... Let's stop talking about it.
離我的充電基地不遠了,接下來的16天,充滿期待。

小心請慢食

晴朗,除了痛還是痛：刺青圖案/S&Y(2)

凌晨4點半痛醒,好像是下意識地用力上下牙齒咬合,堅持拒吃止痛藥。
一路奇異的怪夢到上午8點,大概花了10分鐘思索那些詭異的夢境,雖然不是劇烈疼痛,但是像唐三丈不停唸經,緊繃！我的牙根還在適應那三根填充物,很難集中精神的一天,只能吃軟性的東西,只能單邊小心咀嚼慢食,還是會有幾個不留神以正常的力道咬下去,結果就是上下牙床馬上分開,張嘴皺眉放空個幾秒...,11點鐘,莫名的陷入昏迷,又是ㄧ場更詭異的夢境,1點鐘醒來爆累,整天行徑超像老人,不能正常進食感到煩躁,只覺得我的左半邊臉好疲憊因為疼痛,我的右半邊臉好疲憊因為工作量大增...

特種部隊,擊斃！

黑夜降臨,在床上強烈牙痛侵襲：今日無法作業

下午,前往牙醫的路上手心不停冒汗,藉著回想8年前治療的控不疼痛來作心裡建設,事實,屁！是我自己的假想敵,不知道是不是這裡技術比較好,還是之前的牙醫太庸醫,我想中文就是”根管治療抽牙髓“,8年前我是無麻藥狀態不停被那又長又尖的針搓到快中風,而且去了好幾次,今天,很貼心的先上麻藥再打麻藥（這樣打麻藥時就也沒感覺）,接著閉上眼冥想就好,2小時之內搞定,（暗罵8年前被騙了多少健保費）,反正我一路就是緊閉雙眼,進入尾端時,我聞到特殊香味,以為是放藥之類的,有那麼依順間我張開眼睛,看見嘴裡冒煙...ㄜ...嗯...回去冥想,總之,過去了,過程除了我自己的假想敵之外,其實不會痛。

痛的是現在！因為麻藥消了。

左臉有點顏面失調,吃東西像老人,還有強烈的牙痛,他媽的！

 表情大概像這樣。

註：反正就是不要張開眼看他用什麼工具。

Damain Lazarus - After Rave Delight

The best choice for my late night.

It brings me to a place far from here.

2011人生浩劫

天氣晴朗,在星巴克與我的摩卡興星冰樂（仍然半價）：影片後製/刺青圖案/網站

我的2011,夏天開始,很多事情即將轉變,是浩劫,也是重生

2012世界末日都還沒到,我的浩劫先降臨,明天下午2:00開始第一劫,多年忽視牙醫的結果就是被大舉入侵了都不知道,很多小軍埋伏,一個危急生命的特種部隊,4個違建拆除,吞了口水,開始認真的後悔過去為什麼沒有每半年去看一次牙醫,來吧,面對恐懼。

比起之後要面對的事,這只是顆小芝麻,有些事情必須要結束,有些事情必須要開始,我還在迷惘,要怎麼執行？要怎麼生存？要怎麼把人生塑成我想要的樣子,要是有種東西叫做世界通行證,那該有多好,感覺,我乘坐著即將往下俯衝的雲霄飛車,不准膽小,感覺我都快成玩家級了,還不是退出大冒險的時候,現在這裡雖然還沒有見到綠葉,但至少陽光普照,多接近陽光,很自然的你會感覺希望。

我要像號角祥起一樣大喊：感覺活著真好,阿彌陀佛！

Project in progress: B.I.Y. stop-motion video

I'm currently making a stop-motion video which is related to something I have made before. After fixing 238 photos in a row, I am going blind. The symptoms of anti-photoshop is coming out. The good news is that it's 70% done. 

It seems so much more efficient if I bring my lap top out and do my work at a coffee shop. Especially when there is an additional bonus like half-price Starbucks Frappuccino!

Venti-Green tea Frappuccino with soy and whipped cream again today. Heehee...

My up coming exhibition “0 to 1”

"Zero to one" 

Kaya Huang solo exhibition 

2011.06.10-29     11:30AM - 1:00AM

Soul café, Kaohsiung, Taiwan

This is my first solo exhibition and it means something big to me. I start from nothing. I am struggling to become what I want to be. And I believe that as long as I take the first step, things will start working out somehow.

Come to visite me and let's have fun!

我的首次插畫小個展：“零到壹 - 從什麼都沒有開始出發的第一步。“

說爾咖啡-高雄市林森3路193巷1號   （07）338-9353

一起來同樂吧。

Warning! Rainy season is coming.

Cloudy with showers

Humidity 66%

雨季來了,雪終於沒了

陰暗,高濕度,水和土的氣味,雷聲

我身體裡起化學變化

這個天氣很台北

沒有想過以前很討厭的東西,現在卻會想念

我想我真的很想念台北夏天的午後雷陣雨

Lost in Bermuda Triangle

我在我自己世界裡的百慕達三角人間蒸發了幾小時,精神上的靈魂出竅,因為對於當下在做的事,身在的場合,我不享受,忍痛切割了我的1/5天,交出使用權,當去見某人或出席某場合變成一件你必須做的事時,一切失去其中的意義,而且非常惱人,明明沒有交情,但是必須秀臉,我有這麼好看嗎？表面的假象,又是為了給誰看？很多人有種莫名其妙的自尊,通常是不敢面對事實,怕丟臉,怕批判,而營造和平美麗的畫面,當聚會散場,戲碼也散場,之後得到的是更強烈的意識這有多悲哀,通常又牽涉著其他人必須參與,而我,通常是陪著演戲的角色。

很累,不想說話,因為一切索然無味。

你敢去估算我們人生裡有多少時間是以自己不願意的方式被消耗嗎？

基於某種原因,我沒有耐心去做沒有意義的事,我討厭虛假,那裡沒有自我,尤其是關於情感這件事,我寧願聽醜陋的實話,也不要美麗的虛幻,如果你不喜歡我,不需要演戲,同樣的邏輯,我這裡沒有糖果,當我面對著我一點也沒興趣的人事物時,通常我扮演著無趣的人角色,而且通常我不在乎。

現在一邊吸著Starbuckcs Frappuccino(venti/green tea+soy milk+whipped cream),今日半價,現在覺得舒服多了。

Wall#1

  

Wall#1

100cmx70cm

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

My first wall painting of my "Wall Surfing" project. This is on a wall in the bathroom of my place. 3 days, experimented with different kinds of markers. It took longer than I thought because I got to make up the left part which I messed up at the beginning. 

Lesson 1:Stop immediately when you notice that the material is not quite right. Don't try to make it work with something wrong. Especially it's on something which is not erasable. 

The good thing is that the whole drawing turned out better than I imagined. Even though my right wrist was tired and swearing a lot, it's worth. The second and the third walls are already in the schedule. The first several walls will be just some warm up. Then the project will be ready to start running. What exactly the "Wall Surfing" project is? I can't tell you too much now...because I haven't planned it perfectly yet. Aha!

*Did you know you can click on the pictures to see the larger size? :)

14:20

I found something surprised me in my dear little pro this afternoon.
It makes me feel warm and I smiled like a retarded angel.
:)

The biggest bruise ever!

（怕影響食慾,做了遮色效果。）

有看過這麼壯麗的瘀青嗎？

本週很有瘀光之災,我在不同的案發現場摔三次,而且都是以非常白痴的姿態...

之一,我騎著一台踮腳尖也坐不上去的腳踏車,急慢速下急彎迴轉,但沒精算到地上無數的小石頭

我就撇車了,以慢動作的姿態倒下加3聲“阿...阿...阿...”,假裝沒事繼續騎。（蠢）

之二,無法被我馴服的長滑板,它帶我衝向草地,以足球守門員的姿態,雙手張開,向前撲倒,這世界上應該沒有人以左胸落地,只能不停大笑。(極蠢)

之三,再次挑戰,但還是無法馴服,以體操選手的姿態,美麗的側翻,7分！仍然只能大笑。（極極蠢）

外加一條,昨天走路撞到桌子角,90度尖角擊中瘀青中央,嗨到倒地。

站起來後,仍然是一條活龍。